Another Verse To The Song
At some time or another we have all, without looking, allowed ourselves to become embroiled in a situation that we later regretted. In other words we didn’t look before we leaped. Two other Ozark expressions for hasty conclusions are “Another verse to the song” or “divin in shallow waters.”
Good example of just such an occurrence took place during the civil war at a little village called Dunksberg. An ancient little book published in 1889 titled “The civil war in song and story”, tells of the bizarre battle that has yet to find its appropriate place in the annals of history.
The tiny crossroads village sets in the farther most NW corner of Pettis County and near the stream known as Blackwater. Next to it is the SE corner of Lafayette County and it was the site of a large German settlement just prior to the civil war. From the very beginning the Germans were loyal to the Union which made them a natural objective for the Secessionists vengeance.
A small Union force of Dutch, about fifty, made their headquarters in the church at Dunksberg. One afternoon they were warned of the approach of a great band of rebels. Knowing they would be unsuccessful in defending themselves against such large numbers, they prudently made a quiet retreat.
The rebels, unaware of the hasty withdrawal by the Union men had crept up on the church in the dark of night, surrounded it and at the proper signal, commenced a heavy barrage of fire into the building. The structure being framed in with only thin pine was not resistant to the bullets from the rifles and shotguns.
The hot lead passed through the building to the opposite sides and killed and wounded many of the assailants. The rebels mistook this to be a vigorous defense by the Germans and retreated to a camp a short distance away. Regrouping, they made a careful approach back to the church, this time determined to overwhelm the enemy inside.
After an immense volley of fire power with many more of their forces being killed or maimed, they forced open the doors of the church. Not a German Union man was to be found and they discovered that they had been guilty of the folly of shooting each other. Those good ole boys were certainly “divin in shallow waters.”
One of my favorite Vance Randolph stories tells the yarn about the year that Ruby came to the Ozarks to ply her trade in the tourist camps and in the hotels. She was the prettiest thing to be seen in those parts for a long time and it wasn’t long till all the young men were hanging around.
But she wouldn’t date anybody but tourist, except for Al Hardy. Al was in his fifties and president of the local bank. Ruby was about twenty and she and Al would slip away in the afternoons to go riding. Sometimes they would go to a big hotel but mostly they would stop at a tourist camp that had two room cabins. One room was a bedroom and the other was a garage for Al’s car. Once inside, Al felt perfectly safe. Al preferred the tourist camp because it was cheaper than the big hotels and he dearly hated to part with a dollar. It nearly killed him when he had to pay for Ruby’s “operation” up at Joplin. But then Ruby was as good at her business as Al was at banking.
At the end of the tourist season Ruby sued Al for twenty thousand dollars for breach of promise. Ruby’s father came down from Kansas City with high-powered lawyers and the fight was on. Al went into court and started in on Ruby’s reputation. He claimed that everyone knew that Ruby was a common prostitute, and he subpoenaed several men to swear that they had been with her in a hotel. He even had the nurse from Joplin tell about the abortion he had paid for. It was the juiciest trial to be heard for years and years.
When Ruby’s Kansas City lawyer began Ruby’s defense, he quite simply stated that Ruby was as good a girl as to ever walk the earth and that he would prove it with medical testimony. The local Doctor, along with the Doc from the neighboring town, both took the stand in turn and testified that the girl, Ruby, was most assuredly a virgin.
Al himself brought in two doctors from the city and they only confirmed what the local physicians had concluded. She was a virgin! Al settled out of court quickly and quietly.
Randolph said that the whole thing was a puzzlement to him too but he finally forgot about it. Several years later he attended a tent show out in Oklahoma and the special act was the “Holly Sisters”. Right before his eyes he saw two “Ruby Lemarrs”! He said they were identical twins and that their own Mother would have been hard pressed to tell them apart. After a few drinks at a local bar, he finally persuaded them to tell their story. They had gotten nine thousand dollars from Al and had done even better in other southern towns. Vance questioned them as to why they had quit such a profitable business and they both laughed. Ruby replied that she could still do her part but that her sister had fallen in love and couldn't pass the examination any more.
Now I don’t know if Al leaped before he looked and I can’t even say that he was divin in shallow waters but I do believe he should have realized that there was “another verse to the song!”
